Am I a Hypocrite? — Holly Jean Mullen

Hypocrite: A person who pretends to have beliefs that he or she does not actually possess, especially a person whose actions belie stated beliefs.

There it is folks. The definition of a hypocrite. I need to be honest with all of you. I need to be honest with myself. It is my struggle with this word that has been holding me back from fully stepping into the person I feel called to become.

Ever since I had my first son in 2011, I have felt compelled to share about my journey in motherhood and natural living. Back then, the fear of inexperience held me back. Who was I to share anything as a newbie, first-time mom?

The years went on and the pull got stronger. The fear of lacking credibility held me back. Who was I to share anything without formal training or credentials to back me up?

Now, in 2018, I have everything in place to live my dream by sharing my passion, experiences, and knowledge - but I have one more fear still holding me back.

My hope is that, by sharing this fear, it will serve as acknowledgement and disclaimer and we can all move forward having addressed the elephant in the room.

Back to the question at hand: Am I a hypocrite?

I struggle with sharing about health and wellness because I am not 100% healthy or 100% well. I know that it is socially acceptable to live by the 80/20 rule - 80% of the time eating right, taking care of mind and body, etc., 20% of the time cheat meals, indulging, and no F's given (maybe not always that last one...)

80/20 is what I strive for, that is my goal. However, I'm coming out of a life season that, on a good day, looked more like 60/40. Life got hard. Priorities shifted and my health was the sacrificial lamb.

I'm not making excuses, I'm sharing my reality. Self care is sooo hot right now! But it was the first thing to go out the window for me during a time when I was just trying to keep my shit together. The details of life's curve balls over the past few months are irrelevant in the point I'm trying to make, but it is important to share that, right now, I've made adjustments, am getting on track, and am working back up to 80/20.

I've thrown around a lot of percentages and ratios and I feel compelled to tell you that math is not my strong suit. I'll tell you what I am good at. Honesty.

I honestly feel like a hypocrite whenever I talk to someone about nutrition, essential oils, homemade deodorant, non-toxic cleaners, phthalates and plastics, breastfeeding, detoxification, eczema treatments, hormone balance, or any other "natural" topic that people regularly ask me about.

I feel like a hypocrite because I'm not perfect. "Know better, do better", right? I do know better. I don't always do better.

True Confessions:

I had a microwaved (non-organic) cheeseburger and chips for breakfast the other day.
I recently instructed my husband to buy "the most heavy-duty-toxic-looking" toilet cleaner they sell at Home Depot.
I pack BPA plastic sandwich bags in my kids' lunch every day.
Not all of my hair products are free of hormone disrupting chemicals.
There is a jug of bleach in my laundry room.
I still buy and use disposable straws and feel a strong resistance towards giving them up to save the planet.

I want to launch Rabbit Hol.istik from an honest heart and level playing field. I know I have much to share with the mom community and that there are women out there that need to hear what I have to say. What I need you all to know is that I am not coming from a place of superiority or criticism. Please understand this - I am not an expert. I am, however, a passionate & inquisitive researcher, knowledgeable via my personal experiences, educated by trial and error, and inspired by the stories and journeys of others who have gone before me. I am still meandering on my own journey, digging and exploring in my own rabbit holes, and I am still learning as I grow.

I am not a hypocrite. I am imperfect.

You are imperfect.

We ALL are imperfect.

And that is okay.

I am here to support you by sharing my experiences and the wisdom I have acquired through them. I strive to practice what I preach and am always looking for ways to improve. It is called a wellness journey for a reason and I look forward to your company as we walk down our individual paths, together.

In kindness and encouragement,

Holly